Probably the most depressing dinner fiasco I have ever encountered...

So tonight's dinner was gonna be UBER fantastic! I was so looking forward to it. Okay- not totally true. The main dish was a last minute easy meal, it was my side dish I was so excited for. I made Costco's Orange Chicken with rice, and the main side was...artichokes!

I. LOVE. ARTICHOKES. Not kidding. I love them! And I don't don't DON'T like sharing mine. Joe and I were married nearly 9 years ago (wow!). When I bought artichokes for us one night for dinner, I was NOT thrilled when Joe made dinner, and only cooked ONE artichoke for us to share. Ummm... no. :) He has since learned... Also- in my family, we have ALWAYS served our artichokes with mayonnaise to dip it in. Now, I am not necessarily a HUGE mayo fan, but it is (in my opinion) the ONLY true way to enjoy a good artichoke.

Now- back to the story. As I was putting dinner on the table I went to the fridge to grab the mayo. It took me a minute to find it as it had been pushed to the back of the fridge (as I said, not a huge mayo fan). As I pulled it out, I noticed it was VERY lightweight. Sure enough I opened it up and there was just a tiny bit in the bottom. Dang! So I checked my pantry- nope- no mayo. CRAP! So I dish out what little mayo I had into three little bowls, and tell the kids to go easy on it (Joe eats his plain). We all took one bite of the artichoke with mayo on it and realized that the mayo was NOT GOOD. I mean, BAD... it smelled (according to Joe) like musty laundry. It tasted (according to me) exactly like I imagine sweaty gym socks would taste like.

CRAP- CRAPITY- CRAPUMS! Well, luckily my children are not nearly as picky as I am, so I pulled out the small jar of Miracle Whip I had on hand (I can not STAND Miracle Whip... it is only good for one thing. But that's a different story...). The kiddos and Joe were all quite happy with their artichokes, but this here pregnant lady was NOT gonna settle for that. I ate my main dish, and excused myself to my trusty laptop to Google a recipe for mayo. I found one that sounded fairly easy... AND I had all the ingredients! YAY! So I set to work making my own HOMEMADE mayonnaise! Um... yeah. It was a total flop. I know emulsions can be tricky... but I really screwed it up, so of course, I had to scrap it. :( If that's not bad enough, as I was rinsing off the bowl I used to make said mayo, I look over at the table, and Lilia had finished her artichoke and was HALFWAY THROUGH MINE! ACK! Oh no she di'int! I shooed her away from my precious, and sent her off to watch some Sesame Street with her little sister. At this point I had given up on the whole Mayo thing, and decided to TRY it with Miracle Whip... BAD idea. It was awful! (Keep in mind I am pregnant and when my body craves something, it isn't happy with substitutions...) . So I went with door #2. I dipped the rest of my artichoke in melted butter. It was OKAY, but not great. Now- if that's not bad enough, as I was cleaning my dishes (and Lacey's) off the table, I leaned across the table to grab something and my WHOLE BELLY landed right in the melted plate of butter! I have a mega grease stain on my shirt now! UGH! So, so, SO depressing!

(The good and only redeeming news here is that I do have one more uncooked artichoke which will be my lunch tomorrow after a trip to the grocery store!)

Wow- how sad is this? I totally just blogged about an artichoke! It must be the pregnancy... yeah- that's it...