My kids really do make my life so much fun! Some of the funny things my kids have been saying/doing in the last month or so (with some good pictures added in for the fun of it):
1. Lilia informed me the other day that our neighbor, Josh, has been chasing her on the playground at school. She then said, "He won't stop chasing me, so I am breaking up from marrying him."
2. Midge (our dog) was in the middle of getting her semi-annual shave, and because it's winter, we are sure to put her in a sweater when we shave off all her hair. As I was putting her sweater on her, Lacey started giggling and asked, "Mom, are you putting a swim soup (suit) on her?"
(before her shave)
(The blade was too hot to finish shaving her- Joe left her with the mowhawk and poofy feet for a day)
3. Lilia was preparing an impromtu performance with Lacey's help. She kept saying, "Lacey, it's time to rehearsal my song!" or "Lacey your rehearsaling time is over! It's my turn!"
4. I happened to catch my two youngest kids playing together and giggling, so I stopped to watch. As I was watching I started to laugh and said, "You two are so STINKIN' CUTE!" Lacey smiled at me and said, "I not stinkin' I took a bath- uh member?"
5. A conversation we had in the car:
(Sitting at a stop light)
ME: Lil, take your seatbelt off for a second and grab the pen on the seat in front of you.
LILIA: But what if a cop comes?
ME: If a cop comes I will get a ticket.
LIL: But I don't want you to get a ticket! They will put you in jail!
ME: They won't put me in jail for a ticket.
LIL: They will if they think you are an idiot driver...
6. Lacey latest favorite show, much to my chagrin, is Dora the Explorer. Except that's not what she calls it. If you ask her- her favorite show is "Do-do-do-do-do-Dora!" (If you haven't heard the theme song, than this wouldn't be as funny to you...)
7. Along those same lines- Matthew is learning to talk. His latest statement (when requested) is also, "Do-do-do-do-do-Dora." Except he says "d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duh uh" :)
8. Lilia's Valenine LOVE story...
Day 1- Lilia: Mom- two boys in my class love me. You don't know them though. Donovan and Michael.
Day 2- (Lilia made a valentine for Donovan (It said "I like you" inside a hand drawn heart).)
ME: What's this? A love letter?
LIL: No! It's a second valentine.
ME: But what about Michael? Where is his?
LIL: I didn't make one for him because he doesn't love me as much as Donovan does.
9. Lacey got an earache a few weeks ago. Her last experience at the doctor was when we had to hospitalize her a few months back from dehydration. At the hospital they gave her an IV. Which she HATED. Fast forward to the earache...
(on the drive to the doctor)
LACEY: I don't want a shot! My ear is better.
ME: Uh-huh... Lacey, they aren't gonna give you a shot. The doctor will look in your ear and say, "EW- Yuck!" and give you some medicine.
LACEY: Ohhhh, okay...
(15 minutes later as the nurse calls us back to the exam room)
LACEY: I don't want a shot!
ME: Lacey, remember? They aren't gonna give you a shot. The doctor will look in your ear and say, "EW- Yuck!" and give you some medicine.
LACEY: Ohhhh, okay...
(2 minutes later as they are weighing her and preparing to take her temp with an ear thermometer)
The nurse gets the thermometer and steps toward Lacey, she backs behind me and says quietly, "Oh dear!"
I tell her "It's not a shot- it is gonna tell us how warm you are. They will check your good ear, okay?"
LACEY: Ohhhh, okay.
(10 minutes later as the doc enters the exam room)
DOC: Hi little Miss Lacey, how are you today?
LACEY: I don't WANT a shot!
ME: ::sigh:: Lacey, honey, they are not going to give you a shot. He is going to look in your ear, say, "EW- Yuck!" and give you some medicine.
LACEY: Ohhhh, okay.
(and like a good doctor he looked in her ear and did actually say, "EW- Yuck! Let's give you some medicine..." I love my pediatrician!)
10. Backstory: Lil and Lace have a bunk bed. Lil on top. Lace on bottom...
The other night Lil jumped on Joe while he was asleep, startling him awake just to tell him about her potty habits. I caught her at it and said, "Lil! Dad was asleep! How would you like it if I jumped on YOUR bed tomorrow to wake you up, just to tell you I went potty?" She said, "Mom! You'd break my bed and KILL Lacey!"
11. Tonight we were playing a guessing game in the car. Someone thinks of a person, and everyone else tries to guess who it is using only yes and no questions. Such as, "Is it a boy?" "Is he older than Daddy?" etc. Lacey tries to play along, but she doesn't quite get it yet...
ME: Is it a boy?
ME: Is it Daddy?
LACEY: Is Daddy a boy?
ME: (totally kidding) Nope- Daddy is a girl
LACEY: Noooo! Daddy is a boy! He says this, (she lowered her voice as deep as her 3 year old voice could go and mumbled something incoherent.)
And the best for last...
12. We were watching a movie the other night that ended with the two main characters kissing. Nothing bad- just a good, passionate, kiss.
LIL: Mom? Is that a suction kiss?
ME: A what?
LIL: A suction kiss!
ME: (trying to hide the smile) What's a suction kiss?
LIL: Well... YOU KNOW... if you and Daddy didn't suction kiss I would never have been, well... (long pause) BORN!?
Kids really do say the darndest things! I sure love mine!